Never Enough

Haha! It's funny when I think about it but it's so true! The more you(I) have, the more you(I) want!!! God has blessed me tremendously lately and I still want more!!! What brought my mind to this thought was me having to come up with some type of budget because we are running a tight ship! Lol. I guess these days everybody is a little hard up for cash.

I have so much to be thankful for but yet I still continue to let my eyes wander... Then I'm looking at what everybody else has!!! Not only do I want what they have, but I find myself wanting to outdo them and their endeavors!!!

I have been told to stop wanting for more and be happy and thankful for what I do have... I am happy and thankful for the good things I have! Lol. But really!!! How do I quit wanting for more?!? More importantly!!! WHY should I try to stop wanting?!? Isn't wanting more the beginning of a dream?!? Shouldn't wanting more make you set your goals higher?!? Doesn't wanting more make you strive for excellence to reach those goals?!?

I don't know about you but I have settled for things in life before and I know now that that was not what God wanted!!! He made us this way for a reason!!! I'm not gonna try to stop my wanting!!! Maybe I should direct my wanting to localized areas but never stop it!!! When you stop wanting then you stop dreaming!!! When you stop dreaming then you stop setting goals!!! And when you stop setting goals you start moving into a stagnant state of comfortable!!! You have settled for less than what God's intended purpose was for you!!!

So dear Lord I pray to you today asking that You not take away my wants!!! But You redirect them in the way that You would have them to go!!! Thank You Lord!!! In Jesus' Name AMEN!!!

Just In Case...

Just in case I die or something tragic happens i want my dreams to live on. So I will be sharing my dreams, ideas, and plans here. Many people have stolen my ideas over time so I am a little reluctant to make this information public. My thinking as of right now is that if somebody in my local are steals my ideas then I wasn't meant to do it myself and I was meant to inspire somebody else. The thought of that really sucks but oh well. And it's not like I'm gonna give all details!!! LOL! I'm still gonna be vague with my special ideas!!!

Anyways...

Step One
Write out a business plan. One that includes my photography studio and my boutique together as a whole.

Step Two
Take copy of business plan and get loan with it. Start with government loans and then try banks if I'm not accepted for a government loan.

Step Three
Find suitable land and buy. I want enough land so that its not cramped even a little. Id love some live oaks with moss growing on them. Maybe with a creek or pond. Remember these 3 rules about real estate because they are the most important things!!!::: LoCaTiOn lOcAtIoN LOCATION!!!

Step Four
Develop land according to my wants and needs. I want a 2-story building. Second floor for living purposes. First floor for business. Nice size parking lot. A small playground for my children.

Step Five
Prepare for "Grand Opening"!!! LOL

When those 5 little steps are broken down into every little detail, this will be a very BIG part of my life!!!

Lord please help!!!!!!!

Wasting Time?

Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in other things that you let go of the ones that are more important? Well I have!!! I have got to get my business plan together!!! For reall because all this sitting and waiting is depressing me!!! I gotta get the wheels turning!!! I gotta make things happen!!! But... Then again...

I have my precious 7 month old at home with me. :) And I wouldn't trade that for the world! She is my heart!!! *sigh*

I need the Internet on a fully operational computer hooked up to a fully functional printer with full supply of ink!!! LOL! I don't have Internet on my computer and my printer is out of ink... So yea that sucks! Where oh where can I go to work on my business plan?

So as of right now I have not even really begun my business plan. But I have it in my head! The hard parts are coming soon enough! I'm feeling more level headed now and I'm ready to do something with my life!!!

Whoever reads my blog will probably think that I'm bipolar but everybody is bipolar. The difference is just how bipolar are you! Lol

The Lord has been answering prayers but I'm not sure which direction to take with the answers. So I'm just gonna keep moving forward and I guess it will become more clear the further down the road I go. UHG!!! Why oh why do I feel soooo stuck?!? Something has to give!!!

Lord help!!!!!!!

Epic Fail???

Does anybody else feel like a failure? I know I do! I see all these other women graduating from college and working good jobs... While all I am is a homemaker, a housewife, a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong I'm not downing my title in any way! I love staying at home with my children!!! But is this what is best? For me? For them?

I don't know... I know that a job right now would be stupid considering Grace would need a babysitter at between $240-$500 a month. Depending on different things. And then what hours would my job be? Would I need after school child care? And how much is that? Uhg!!!

I guess I'm just a little depressed at myself for not being all that I could have been... And now I feel STUCK!!! And it's all my fault!!! Just thinking about "what might have been?" gets me all upset. And I'm a horrible mother for feeling this way right?!?

I want a lot of things in life for not only me but my children also. Time isn't stopping for me to get everything together! *sigh*. I know this isn't going the way I want it but now how do I get over this?

I feel like I need help!!! I know that I want help!!!! I know I can do this by myself but it would be a lot easier with somebody helping me!!!!!

Lord Help!!!!!!!

It's Just Out Of Reach!!!

I feel like my arm is stretched out and my fingertips are barely grazing my dreams!!! Right now I'm kinda feeling like I will never get there. I'm feeling like I should just give up. I'm feeling like everybody is laughing at me and saying what a joke I am. I feel defeated even though I have barely begun the race.

It's times like these when I wish the Lord would come and sit beside me and tell me the truth!!! Lol. Am I going to fail??? Now why would He tell me that I was going to fail? He wouldn't because then I would never try!! Lol.

I'm feeling overwhelmed! I'm feeling panicked!! I'm feeling paralyzed!!! Sooo much to do!!! Never enough time or energy!!! I need some encouragement! I'm feeling like the work I am doing is all to spoil. Is it no good? Is it a waste of my time? I hate wasting time! I have wasted enough of my life on petty things! I want to rise above!!!

I just refuse to believe that I will live an average life! My heart yearns for more! I want to do great things and be a part of great things! But... Sometimes I get discouraged and I want to crawl in a hole somewhere and cry. I get to where I stop talking to everybody. I don't wanna be that girl anymore!!!

Lord help!!!

Getting Back On Track

I don't remember exactly when now but I had a schedule at one time. I had routines. Everything was planned and on paper. Everything down to phone call time with friends. I was not military strict with my time. I was flexible. But everything ran so smooth... I want to get that back!!! BUT there are a few differences this time around. Number One is now I have a third baby. Kids in school is another thing to plan around. Husband has different work schedule. It's just all around different.

Ohhhh there is always sooo much to do and never enough time to do it. I want to reread "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George! Or even better yet take her training course. I wish!!! I want to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman!!! Fo sho fo sho!!! Lol

I had everything so organized and now I don't know where anything is. I want to get back on track! Maybe I need another "War Week"! Something else from Allison LaMarr! But I'm not even sure where to start! I'm so ashamed of myself for letting it get this way. But I'm also upset because I'm still young but my body feels so old. Just cooking dinner can make my back go into spasms. I'm gonna try not to complain. Life is good. God is Great!

I know One thing is true though. If I fail to plan then I have planned to fail! And I need to plan my work and work my plan! So tonight shall be the night to start working on getting my life back on track. While my husband is away training. So I have from tonight all the way through till this Friday to get some type of plan. I know that sounds good and all but with a 6 year old, 4 year old, and almost 6 month old to tend to I shall be busy to say the least!!!

But I wouldn't trade it for the world!!! So dear Lord would You please help me!!! Whether it be with the Bible or Elizabeth George or Allison LaMarr or whoever or whatever. Please Lord HELP!!! Amen

The Clock is Ticking

Oh Lord please help me!!! I set a goal today... I have given myself almost 3 years to have my business up and running and fully functional and operational. I am going crazy now worried sick about getting stuff together. I have so many ideas swirling around in my head!!! I have tried to get stuff down on paper but on paper it's just not as awesome as it is in my head.

I'm so afraid that none of my ideas are marketable!!! Am I worthy enough for the competition around here??? What ideas should I stick with??? What ideas should I trash??? Will my business actually be profitable??? Is there really room for me to open up shop??? WILL I FAIL???

Success is my only option!!! I pray that God guides me in His direction!!! I need His help!!! And ya know what?! If God does not want me to do this then I will move on but if it is in God's will I sure hope He starts giving me some answers now!!! Lol

Like... What should my product or service be??? Just stick with photography??? Just stick with the boutique??? Event planning??? Ball room dancing fundraisers??? Park playground on business property??? What about Tyyanduh Inc??? My other business ideas??? All of my ideas??? None of them??? Where to locate my business??? Who to hire??? Vendors to use??? Stay in Bogalusa??? Go to Mississippi??? Fowl River???

UHG!!! Soooo many questions that need to be answered! Sooo many decisions that need to be made! Sooo many risks to take!

AND!!! I have not kept up with my Allison LaMarr's 90 day transformation... I need to get a business plan together but how in the world can I do that when I don't have answers to questions. That's my problem!!! I am horrible at finishing things because I'm horrible at making decisions!!! Sooo I need to get on the ball and start making some decisions!!! It would be nice if I could do a marketing analysis on whether my business is even wanted...