Never Enough

Haha! It's funny when I think about it but it's so true! The more you(I) have, the more you(I) want!!! God has blessed me tremendously lately and I still want more!!! What brought my mind to this thought was me having to come up with some type of budget because we are running a tight ship! Lol. I guess these days everybody is a little hard up for cash.

I have so much to be thankful for but yet I still continue to let my eyes wander... Then I'm looking at what everybody else has!!! Not only do I want what they have, but I find myself wanting to outdo them and their endeavors!!!

I have been told to stop wanting for more and be happy and thankful for what I do have... I am happy and thankful for the good things I have! Lol. But really!!! How do I quit wanting for more?!? More importantly!!! WHY should I try to stop wanting?!? Isn't wanting more the beginning of a dream?!? Shouldn't wanting more make you set your goals higher?!? Doesn't wanting more make you strive for excellence to reach those goals?!?

I don't know about you but I have settled for things in life before and I know now that that was not what God wanted!!! He made us this way for a reason!!! I'm not gonna try to stop my wanting!!! Maybe I should direct my wanting to localized areas but never stop it!!! When you stop wanting then you stop dreaming!!! When you stop dreaming then you stop setting goals!!! And when you stop setting goals you start moving into a stagnant state of comfortable!!! You have settled for less than what God's intended purpose was for you!!!

So dear Lord I pray to you today asking that You not take away my wants!!! But You redirect them in the way that You would have them to go!!! Thank You Lord!!! In Jesus' Name AMEN!!!

Just In Case...

Just in case I die or something tragic happens i want my dreams to live on. So I will be sharing my dreams, ideas, and plans here. Many people have stolen my ideas over time so I am a little reluctant to make this information public. My thinking as of right now is that if somebody in my local are steals my ideas then I wasn't meant to do it myself and I was meant to inspire somebody else. The thought of that really sucks but oh well. And it's not like I'm gonna give all details!!! LOL! I'm still gonna be vague with my special ideas!!!

Anyways...

Step One
Write out a business plan. One that includes my photography studio and my boutique together as a whole.

Step Two
Take copy of business plan and get loan with it. Start with government loans and then try banks if I'm not accepted for a government loan.

Step Three
Find suitable land and buy. I want enough land so that its not cramped even a little. Id love some live oaks with moss growing on them. Maybe with a creek or pond. Remember these 3 rules about real estate because they are the most important things!!!::: LoCaTiOn lOcAtIoN LOCATION!!!

Step Four
Develop land according to my wants and needs. I want a 2-story building. Second floor for living purposes. First floor for business. Nice size parking lot. A small playground for my children.

Step Five
Prepare for "Grand Opening"!!! LOL

When those 5 little steps are broken down into every little detail, this will be a very BIG part of my life!!!

Lord please help!!!!!!!

Wasting Time?

Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in other things that you let go of the ones that are more important? Well I have!!! I have got to get my business plan together!!! For reall because all this sitting and waiting is depressing me!!! I gotta get the wheels turning!!! I gotta make things happen!!! But... Then again...

I have my precious 7 month old at home with me. :) And I wouldn't trade that for the world! She is my heart!!! *sigh*

I need the Internet on a fully operational computer hooked up to a fully functional printer with full supply of ink!!! LOL! I don't have Internet on my computer and my printer is out of ink... So yea that sucks! Where oh where can I go to work on my business plan?

So as of right now I have not even really begun my business plan. But I have it in my head! The hard parts are coming soon enough! I'm feeling more level headed now and I'm ready to do something with my life!!!

Whoever reads my blog will probably think that I'm bipolar but everybody is bipolar. The difference is just how bipolar are you! Lol

The Lord has been answering prayers but I'm not sure which direction to take with the answers. So I'm just gonna keep moving forward and I guess it will become more clear the further down the road I go. UHG!!! Why oh why do I feel soooo stuck?!? Something has to give!!!

Lord help!!!!!!!

Epic Fail???

Does anybody else feel like a failure? I know I do! I see all these other women graduating from college and working good jobs... While all I am is a homemaker, a housewife, a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong I'm not downing my title in any way! I love staying at home with my children!!! But is this what is best? For me? For them?

I don't know... I know that a job right now would be stupid considering Grace would need a babysitter at between $240-$500 a month. Depending on different things. And then what hours would my job be? Would I need after school child care? And how much is that? Uhg!!!

I guess I'm just a little depressed at myself for not being all that I could have been... And now I feel STUCK!!! And it's all my fault!!! Just thinking about "what might have been?" gets me all upset. And I'm a horrible mother for feeling this way right?!?

I want a lot of things in life for not only me but my children also. Time isn't stopping for me to get everything together! *sigh*. I know this isn't going the way I want it but now how do I get over this?

I feel like I need help!!! I know that I want help!!!! I know I can do this by myself but it would be a lot easier with somebody helping me!!!!!

Lord Help!!!!!!!