Allison LaMarr's "168-Piece Puzzle"

Go on now and check Allison LaMarr out!!! She is totally awesome!!!

Ok I know it's been a while but I'd like to jump head first into something productive instead of rant and rave and talk about all the drama and depressing things that have happened to me as of late. I could mope about my Daddy having a heart attack, or my mother not wanting to see me or her grandchildren because she is afraid I will ask her for money, or my son continuously disobeying and not listening, or my husband being suspended for about a month now and how are we going to pay the bills?!?!?! Along with other many things that make up the pain and sorrow of my daily life...

Instead I would like to announce that I am going to press on. I want to move forward.

So the the title of this post might have you confused. And if so I would like to inform you that the "168-Piece Puzzle" is a reflection of our weekly life. We have 168 hours in one week and unless you plan your work and work your plan then you have failed to plan and planned to fail... Sad but true!!! One motto I love (I love pretty much all of them) from Allison LaMarr is, "Remember, it can be challenging to hit a moving target, but it’s DARN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE to hit an invisible one." And that means that YES things may change from what you originally planned!! But if you don't plan at all then it's almost like you have no standards!! If you don't have a plan it's like you are living aimlessly through life!!!

So I will be trying to go through a metamorphosis. I believe there is a beautiful butterfly inside of me just waiting very impatiently to break out and fly!!! Right now I feel like that sluggish caterpillar!!! I can't get enough to eat mentally!!! (and physically LOL). Maybe I'm already in the cocoon process. Idk right now. One thing I do know is that I was meant for sooo much more than this!!!!! I will rise above with the help of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!! God Bless!!!

Never Enough

Haha! It's funny when I think about it but it's so true! The more you(I) have, the more you(I) want!!! God has blessed me tremendously lately and I still want more!!! What brought my mind to this thought was me having to come up with some type of budget because we are running a tight ship! Lol. I guess these days everybody is a little hard up for cash.

I have so much to be thankful for but yet I still continue to let my eyes wander... Then I'm looking at what everybody else has!!! Not only do I want what they have, but I find myself wanting to outdo them and their endeavors!!!

I have been told to stop wanting for more and be happy and thankful for what I do have... I am happy and thankful for the good things I have! Lol. But really!!! How do I quit wanting for more?!? More importantly!!! WHY should I try to stop wanting?!? Isn't wanting more the beginning of a dream?!? Shouldn't wanting more make you set your goals higher?!? Doesn't wanting more make you strive for excellence to reach those goals?!?

I don't know about you but I have settled for things in life before and I know now that that was not what God wanted!!! He made us this way for a reason!!! I'm not gonna try to stop my wanting!!! Maybe I should direct my wanting to localized areas but never stop it!!! When you stop wanting then you stop dreaming!!! When you stop dreaming then you stop setting goals!!! And when you stop setting goals you start moving into a stagnant state of comfortable!!! You have settled for less than what God's intended purpose was for you!!!

So dear Lord I pray to you today asking that You not take away my wants!!! But You redirect them in the way that You would have them to go!!! Thank You Lord!!! In Jesus' Name AMEN!!!

Just In Case...

Just in case I die or something tragic happens i want my dreams to live on. So I will be sharing my dreams, ideas, and plans here. Many people have stolen my ideas over time so I am a little reluctant to make this information public. My thinking as of right now is that if somebody in my local are steals my ideas then I wasn't meant to do it myself and I was meant to inspire somebody else. The thought of that really sucks but oh well. And it's not like I'm gonna give all details!!! LOL! I'm still gonna be vague with my special ideas!!!

Anyways...

Step One
Write out a business plan. One that includes my photography studio and my boutique together as a whole.

Step Two
Take copy of business plan and get loan with it. Start with government loans and then try banks if I'm not accepted for a government loan.

Step Three
Find suitable land and buy. I want enough land so that its not cramped even a little. Id love some live oaks with moss growing on them. Maybe with a creek or pond. Remember these 3 rules about real estate because they are the most important things!!!::: LoCaTiOn lOcAtIoN LOCATION!!!

Step Four
Develop land according to my wants and needs. I want a 2-story building. Second floor for living purposes. First floor for business. Nice size parking lot. A small playground for my children.

Step Five
Prepare for "Grand Opening"!!! LOL

When those 5 little steps are broken down into every little detail, this will be a very BIG part of my life!!!

Lord please help!!!!!!!

Wasting Time?

Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in other things that you let go of the ones that are more important? Well I have!!! I have got to get my business plan together!!! For reall because all this sitting and waiting is depressing me!!! I gotta get the wheels turning!!! I gotta make things happen!!! But... Then again...

I have my precious 7 month old at home with me. :) And I wouldn't trade that for the world! She is my heart!!! *sigh*

I need the Internet on a fully operational computer hooked up to a fully functional printer with full supply of ink!!! LOL! I don't have Internet on my computer and my printer is out of ink... So yea that sucks! Where oh where can I go to work on my business plan?

So as of right now I have not even really begun my business plan. But I have it in my head! The hard parts are coming soon enough! I'm feeling more level headed now and I'm ready to do something with my life!!!

Whoever reads my blog will probably think that I'm bipolar but everybody is bipolar. The difference is just how bipolar are you! Lol

The Lord has been answering prayers but I'm not sure which direction to take with the answers. So I'm just gonna keep moving forward and I guess it will become more clear the further down the road I go. UHG!!! Why oh why do I feel soooo stuck?!? Something has to give!!!

Lord help!!!!!!!

Epic Fail???

Does anybody else feel like a failure? I know I do! I see all these other women graduating from college and working good jobs... While all I am is a homemaker, a housewife, a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong I'm not downing my title in any way! I love staying at home with my children!!! But is this what is best? For me? For them?

I don't know... I know that a job right now would be stupid considering Grace would need a babysitter at between $240-$500 a month. Depending on different things. And then what hours would my job be? Would I need after school child care? And how much is that? Uhg!!!

I guess I'm just a little depressed at myself for not being all that I could have been... And now I feel STUCK!!! And it's all my fault!!! Just thinking about "what might have been?" gets me all upset. And I'm a horrible mother for feeling this way right?!?

I want a lot of things in life for not only me but my children also. Time isn't stopping for me to get everything together! *sigh*. I know this isn't going the way I want it but now how do I get over this?

I feel like I need help!!! I know that I want help!!!! I know I can do this by myself but it would be a lot easier with somebody helping me!!!!!

Lord Help!!!!!!!

It's Just Out Of Reach!!!

I feel like my arm is stretched out and my fingertips are barely grazing my dreams!!! Right now I'm kinda feeling like I will never get there. I'm feeling like I should just give up. I'm feeling like everybody is laughing at me and saying what a joke I am. I feel defeated even though I have barely begun the race.

It's times like these when I wish the Lord would come and sit beside me and tell me the truth!!! Lol. Am I going to fail??? Now why would He tell me that I was going to fail? He wouldn't because then I would never try!! Lol.

I'm feeling overwhelmed! I'm feeling panicked!! I'm feeling paralyzed!!! Sooo much to do!!! Never enough time or energy!!! I need some encouragement! I'm feeling like the work I am doing is all to spoil. Is it no good? Is it a waste of my time? I hate wasting time! I have wasted enough of my life on petty things! I want to rise above!!!

I just refuse to believe that I will live an average life! My heart yearns for more! I want to do great things and be a part of great things! But... Sometimes I get discouraged and I want to crawl in a hole somewhere and cry. I get to where I stop talking to everybody. I don't wanna be that girl anymore!!!

Lord help!!!

Getting Back On Track

I don't remember exactly when now but I had a schedule at one time. I had routines. Everything was planned and on paper. Everything down to phone call time with friends. I was not military strict with my time. I was flexible. But everything ran so smooth... I want to get that back!!! BUT there are a few differences this time around. Number One is now I have a third baby. Kids in school is another thing to plan around. Husband has different work schedule. It's just all around different.

Ohhhh there is always sooo much to do and never enough time to do it. I want to reread "A Woman After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George! Or even better yet take her training course. I wish!!! I want to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman!!! Fo sho fo sho!!! Lol

I had everything so organized and now I don't know where anything is. I want to get back on track! Maybe I need another "War Week"! Something else from Allison LaMarr! But I'm not even sure where to start! I'm so ashamed of myself for letting it get this way. But I'm also upset because I'm still young but my body feels so old. Just cooking dinner can make my back go into spasms. I'm gonna try not to complain. Life is good. God is Great!

I know One thing is true though. If I fail to plan then I have planned to fail! And I need to plan my work and work my plan! So tonight shall be the night to start working on getting my life back on track. While my husband is away training. So I have from tonight all the way through till this Friday to get some type of plan. I know that sounds good and all but with a 6 year old, 4 year old, and almost 6 month old to tend to I shall be busy to say the least!!!

But I wouldn't trade it for the world!!! So dear Lord would You please help me!!! Whether it be with the Bible or Elizabeth George or Allison LaMarr or whoever or whatever. Please Lord HELP!!! Amen

The Clock is Ticking

Oh Lord please help me!!! I set a goal today... I have given myself almost 3 years to have my business up and running and fully functional and operational. I am going crazy now worried sick about getting stuff together. I have so many ideas swirling around in my head!!! I have tried to get stuff down on paper but on paper it's just not as awesome as it is in my head.

I'm so afraid that none of my ideas are marketable!!! Am I worthy enough for the competition around here??? What ideas should I stick with??? What ideas should I trash??? Will my business actually be profitable??? Is there really room for me to open up shop??? WILL I FAIL???

Success is my only option!!! I pray that God guides me in His direction!!! I need His help!!! And ya know what?! If God does not want me to do this then I will move on but if it is in God's will I sure hope He starts giving me some answers now!!! Lol

Like... What should my product or service be??? Just stick with photography??? Just stick with the boutique??? Event planning??? Ball room dancing fundraisers??? Park playground on business property??? What about Tyyanduh Inc??? My other business ideas??? All of my ideas??? None of them??? Where to locate my business??? Who to hire??? Vendors to use??? Stay in Bogalusa??? Go to Mississippi??? Fowl River???

UHG!!! Soooo many questions that need to be answered! Sooo many decisions that need to be made! Sooo many risks to take!

AND!!! I have not kept up with my Allison LaMarr's 90 day transformation... I need to get a business plan together but how in the world can I do that when I don't have answers to questions. That's my problem!!! I am horrible at finishing things because I'm horrible at making decisions!!! Sooo I need to get on the ball and start making some decisions!!! It would be nice if I could do a marketing analysis on whether my business is even wanted...

Impatiently Waiting...

I know that things are definitely moving now! But I'm still impatiently waiting for business to be booming and for me to be famous! Lol!!! Here I am married with 3 children and after all these years things just clicked. Yes yes I understand that it's kinda hard for me to get the ball rolling faster than a snails pace with a 5 month old in the home! But at least I can honestly say that things are moving.

I opened up a Facebook boutique... Lol! Anyways I was all like "It won't hurt to try" and "What's it gonna hurt" and also "I can always delete it". But WOW! I actually got people wanting to buy my stuff. It's just hair bows but that is sooo awesome!!! That is definitely encouragement for moving forward!!!

And very soon I'm hoping to come into possession of a more professional grade camera!!! Lord Willing that is!!! I sure hope it's God's will!!! Lol. Oh and it would be nice to get a sewing machine. Hand sewing everything is getting old! :P

I'm having trouble pricing anything. I don't want to overcharge but I don't want to break even either. It's just something I need to tweak. So getting my portfolio together is a pain since nobody wants to model for me... *sigh*

I need to get a list going of things to purchase and prices! It would be sooo nice to have an assistant! A cook and live in nanny and maid... A girl can dream can't she?!? That's what life is all about though right?!? Dreams... It's what's kept me going so far!!!

Light At the End of the Tunnel

Wow!!! Gracie is 5 months old!!! I am "blank" years old!!! Lol no but really tho. My birthday just passed and it was a pretty good birthday if I do say so myself! :D
A lot has happened in my life and I wanna talk about it on here but I'm not. :P
So what did I get on here to say exactly??? Well I feel like even though things are rough and rocky right now, I Can See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel... And what do I mean by that??? Things in life finally feel like they are coming together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Things could fall apart at any moment and it's shaky around here but I know that God has this! He is working on the whole situation! I may stress and get upset but in the end it's all good because even if it does all fall apart again, now I know where I stand with who you know. I can see a lot clearer now that the dust has settled. And yes it's a lot of metaphors but apparently airing dirty laundry for the world to see is frowned upon. Lol.

But for real though, things are looking up. It may not be moving along the way I want but it's not about what I want! It's about Gods Will. Like with this whole photography boutique thing I want. It's not moving the way I hoped it would. But my husband did get a new job and hopefully it will be better for us! I will more than likely have to get a job once Grace gets weaned and slowly work my way up to where I want to be right now! Lol I'm too impatient! I feel like since it has taken me so long to figure this out then something should be handed to me on a silver platter! Just joking! All joking aside, I don't know how I didn't see it. Maybe it's just that I didn't realize I could make a living with it. Now it will be a struggle with trying to open a business and raise 3 children and is my husband going to understand that the work that goes with all this is not only worth it and not just me playing but also it will eat into my homemaker time?.

Oh so many things I want to talk about and so little time...

It's Almost Summer Time!!!

Wow! I can't believe that it's almost summer! Springtime has kicked my butt! I have fallen behind on a lot but I have been busy! My two oldest kids are in baseball so it's been crazy going back and forth between their games. And Easter was crazy running everywhere. Then spring break we were in Alabama visiting family and enjoying the beach. I'm still recuperating! Lol.

No I have not kept up with my "Transformation". I am still on week one. I will make time for it. Right now as I type we are headed to a baseball game but I love being busy! It totally beats boredom!!!

Anyways before I forget again I want to say that I have had an epiphany!!! I want to put my photography and makeup and crafts and clothes design into one business. Like you come for Glamour Shots type deal. I design and make the clothes and props. I have makeup for them to wear. AND I get to take their picture! That is sooo cool!! Lol
I know that other people have done this before me so I'm not saying I came up with this new idea. All I'm saying is that this idea puts all my hobbies into one awesome business!! I know I get excited easy but I really am excited about this!!! The main reason I'm so excited is because I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life for way too long and now I have an answer!!! Photography!!! Fashion!!! Art!!! It's like everything makes sense now!!!

90-Day Transformation with Allison LaMarr (Part 2)

Ok so I did questions 1-7 from the transformation questionnaire in the last post. This post is questions 8-13.

TRANSFORMATION QUESTIONNAIRE
8) Do I have a personal or family dream/goal that I can use my professional & financial success to fund?
•Doesn't everybody? I hate to sound materialistic BUT I have to say a new big house and some new vehicles are some big goals. Another one is my children attending private school. Traveling. I guess I have traditional American dreams.
9) Am I willing to play like a champion to rise above mediocrity and achieve success?
•yes
10) What do I specifically want to gain from the 90-Day Transformation?
•I... Don't... Know... Maybe some better social skills for direct sales and marketing.
11) What potential obstacles are standing in my way?
•MYSELF!!!!!
12) What solutions have I identified to help me overcome those obstacles?
•Affirmstions
13) Am I COMMITTED to push through and finish the 90-day Transformation.... NO MATTER WHAT??
•I sure am!

Yay! That is the end of that homework! So next on the list is my "Long Term Life Vision Chart". That is the one with all the goals! Lol

90-Day-Transformation with Allison LaMarr (Part 1)

I know I sound a little obsessed with Allison LaMarr but she is one of my role models. She went from nothing to rich. I am trying to do her 90-day transformation thing. Although I am behind since they started week 3 on Monday and I haven't completed week one. LOL. Week One is "Goal Setting". So I am gonna do my work for Week One right now.

TRANSFORMATION QUESTIONNAIRE
1) What am I most excited about/looking forward to in this experience?
•The skills that I will learn
2) What is the professional accomplishment that I am most proud of today?
•With the help of friends and family, I sold over $600 worth of product at one party.
3) How do I personally define success?
•Not neccessarily rich but financially free. No more worrying about whether I have
enough money for bills. Success means many things to me. At the top of the list would
have to be my children becoming productive mature and mentally capable adults.
Another thing that I consider success is following through on any and every
responsibility given to me.
4) Are there any skills I want/need to improve upon to create my definition of professional success?
•YES! My lack of self-discipline and accountability and confidence and courage.
I want to be able to go through life and do what I need to do without worrying about
what other people think of my actions.
5) Is there anything holding me back or slowing me down currently?
•YES! I need money to make money! Ain't it tha truth?!?! Plus I do have a
breastfeeding newborn and she does not like bottles. To top it all off I do not have
a set schedule for anything right now which makes things difficult. I'm kinda just
bouncing around from appointment to appointment.
6) Do I have a professional goal, big or small?
•Why certainly I do!! Me and two friends of mine, Yan & Duh, made a plan to start our
own clothing line back in 1998. To get there I need to first learn how to use a
sowing machine and to do that i would need a sowing machine HaHa! I have a couple of
other goals as well like having my own shop and if photography is really something
that I progress in then I would love to have my own photography studio! Aren't goals
Just dreams that have been written down on a piece of paper? So I have lots of goals!
7) What is the absolute next step to my next goal?
•I would have to go with saving up some money to buy a sowing machine and a Photoshop
program for my computer. To do that I either need to get a J O B or seriously start
selling some stuff. Whether it's "Mary Kay" products or the things that I make.

Whoa ok that was questions 1-7 out of 13. I think I will finish questions 8-13 in my next post. So... To Be Continued...

And also here is the link to check out my role model, Allison LaMarr. Definitely check out her "Digging Deeper" articles!

http://www.allisonlamarronline.com/index.html

Today is Supposed to be "About Me"

So here is the truth. I'm freaking out! Lol. That's me though. I think I set my goals to high. I know it's good to set goals too high because "if your goal is the moon and you come up short, you still end up with the stars". Haha! Great stuff! I'm a "Personal Development Junkie". For those of you (if anybody ever reads this lol) for those of you who don't know what that is, it is somebody who feeds on any type of personal development information but never puts it to good use. I can spit out all kinds of quotes. Oh and I absolutely LoVe Allison LaMarr!!! She is a success coach. But what good is all this wonderful information if I don't ReAlLy use it? And I mean really really use it!

I do have a lot going on in my life. I just hope and pray that I can actually get somewhere special. You know right? I feel like other than my 3 beautiful children, I haven't really accomplished anything in my life. Well... Let me tell you about my children. My son, Elijah, is 6 years young. My oldest daughter, Naomi, will be 4 years young next month. Our newest addition to the family is my daughter, Grace, who is 3 months old. Needless to say, I have my hands full right now.

Ok so back to me freaking out... I have been trying to figure out what I wanna do when I grow up. LOL. I have always wanted to dabble in a lot of things. You know like a Jane-of-all-Trades sort of thing? I need to really do some more thinking about things. I need to get my goals down. I need to do a process of elimination so as I can narrow my list down a bit. So I will be doing a goals list and process of elimination list and posting that on here.

I know this may sound silly but I'm also freaking out a bit because I made a few FB pages. Some things that I want to try on and see if they suit me. I haven't done much with them. I just opened them. I have a lot of work to do to really get them up to par but I will go ahead and give the names real quick:
1) Talitha's Photography
2) Talitha's Boutique
3) Talitha's Wardrobe

But really, as of today right now there is nothing on these pages. I'm still not sure when I want to schedule my blog for so I guess I will just post the next one whenever I feel like it for now. Haha. I do have a lot of work to do for the next blog. I want to put up my goals. Short term and long term in all "8 Lanes" of my life. (that's from Allison LaMarr) (she is awesome!). Lol anyways...

Why I decided to "BLOG"

I know that I am blogging for the second time today and I'm not planning on doing that anymore but I never know. Anyways... I wanted to start this for many reasons. Like I stated in the previous post, I want to hold myself accountable and keep track of my journey BUT I also want to tell stories and I want to be able to be honest. Completely honest! It seems as though I cannot do this on FB because of crazy people looking for drama and I can't really just wrrriiittte! I love to write! I have lots & lots of things that I want to write about! I have a notebook that I have been jotting down ideas in. I'm soooo excited about this! I'm not sure if I want this to be a daily or weekly thing yet. For now I will be in the testing process so I can figure out a schedule. I have decided that tomorrow I will write about me. Hahaha! See you tomorrow!

Day 1

I'm excited but scared at the same time... I hope that I can manage to reach my goals! I wanted to write in a diary again. I used to write in one multiple times a day when I was in high school. It's not as easy now as it was then, being as I now have 3 beautiful children! Anyways... My purpose for this "Online Diary" is to not only journal my life but to hold myself accountable. Accountable to what? Well. I have dreams! Don't we all? And I'm so tired of sitting around day dreaming! So to be honest I am hoping and praying that this is the beginning of a glorious journey of reaching goals and living dreams! I want to soar like an eagle!!!